Celebrity

13 Times Tree Man Made Me Feel Like A Shitty Little Shrub

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I love nature.

The time he stood next to a fridge and I felt like a teeny tiny baby sapling looking up at daddy tree, not like incest, but like, “Someday I’ll climb that.”

The time he stood next to a fridge and I felt like a teeny tiny baby sapling looking up at daddy tree, not like incest, but like, "Someday I'll climb that."

Instagram: @www.instagram.com/dannyjonesfitness/?hl=en

The time he got stuck on the stairs and I was inspired to join the National Forest Foundation to save trees just like him.

The time he got stuck on the stairs and I was inspired to join the National Forest Foundation to save trees just like him.

Instagram: @www.instagram.com/dannyjonesfitness/?hl=en

The time he just sat there showing off his ginormous stumps.

The time he just sat there showing off his ginormous stumps.

Instagram: @www.instagram.com/dannyjonesfitness/?hl=en

The time he wore these lil’ jorts and I decided I’d never buy a real Christmas tree again (because Tree Man wouldn’t want that).

The time he wore these lil' jorts and I decided I'd never buy a real Christmas tree again (because Tree Man wouldn't want that).

Instagram: @www.instagram.com/dannyjonesfitness/?hl=en

The time he made a protein shake, but all I could think of was his maple syrup*.

The time he made a protein shake, but all I could think of was his maple syrup*.

*SORRY.

Instagram: @www.instagram.com/dannyjonesfitness/?hl=en

That time he stood in a doorway and had a *moment* looking at his fellow treeple.

That time he stood in a doorway and had a *moment* looking at his fellow treeple.

Instagram: @www.instagram.com/dannyjonesfitness/?hl=en

The time he was riding in a car and all I could think about was that scene in Final Destination when the logs fall off the truck and I felt concerned but also h*rny.

The time he was riding in a car and all I could think about was that scene in Final Destination when the logs fall off the truck and I felt concerned but also h*rny.

Instagram: @www.instagram.com/dannyjonesfitness/?hl=en

The time he just stood there so we could admire his girth.

The time he just stood there so we could admire his girth.

Instagram: @www.instagram.com/dannyjonesfitness/?hl=en

The time he sat on a stool and I was just like, “This man is a tree sitting on a stool.”

The time he sat on a stool and I was just like, "This man is a tree sitting on a stool."

Instagram: @www.instagram.com/dannyjonesfitness/?hl=en

The time he held full-size pumpkins and I was like, “Holy heck, I’ve never seen a tree hold pumpkins before?!”

The time he held full-size pumpkins and I was like, "Holy heck, I've never seen a tree hold pumpkins before?!"

Instagram: @www.instagram.com/dannyjonesfitness/?hl=en

The time he almost grew into the ceiling fan.

The time he almost grew into the ceiling fan.

Instagram: @www.instagram.com/dannyjonesfitness/?hl=en

The time he channeled his inner Redwood.

The time he channeled his inner Redwood.

Instagram: @www.instagram.com/dannyjonesfitness/?hl=en

And lastly, here’s another picture of his fucking huge legs because #stumpspo (like #thinspo but for stumps).

And lastly, here's another picture of his fucking huge legs because #stumpspo (like #thinspo but for stumps).

Instagram: @www.instagram.com/dannyjonesfitness/?hl=en

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