Celebrity

101 Old And Forgotten Kim Kardashian Tweets From A Simpler Time

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1. When she kicked off her Thanksgiving cooking with “seet potatoe souffle”:

2. When she went to Walmart for Christmas decorations:

3. When Fergie said this:

4. When traveling gave her diarrhea:

5. When she walked by “Mary J. Blidge”:

6. When she was living for the drama on Maury:

Watching paternity tests on Maury! So scandalous!!!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

7. When iPads made reading fun again:

My favorite feature on the ipad is downloading books! Reading is fun again! It has everything on this ipad!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

8. When she had to end the rumor she stomped a dog to death… again:

What’s so awful, is they made up this same exact rumor last year, that I stomped a dog to death! People are so cruel! This is not true!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

9. When she made up the identity “unintentional vegetarian”:

I like tofu better than chicken and beef. I think I’m an unintentional vegetarian.

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

10. When she was hyped for Sandra Bullock:

I love that Sandra Bullock won a Razzie and an Oscar in the same year!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

11. When she pondered the legalities of a 2-year-old chainsmoker:

This 2 year old smoking baby in Indonesia is just disturbing. Is this legal?

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

12. When! she! was! about! to! see! Avatar! in! 3D!!!:

Avatar! Can’t wait! Have u guys seen it? I heard its amazing! Walking in now! 3D baby!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

13. When she subtweeted iPhones:

I like the feeling of having buttons to press, not just a touch screen

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

14. When she confessed her beliefs:

Do you believe in Fairy Tales? I do

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

15. When she tweeted about this woman:

Some woman at this hotel just came up 2 me said…”U look so much better alive” What is that supposed 2 mean?

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

16. When her vigilant eyes exposed Shakira’s recycled look:

Anyone else notice that during her AMA performance Shakira wore the same exact dress Jennifer Lopez wore a few weeks ago in Miami?

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

17. When she dragged AC:

I hate air conditioning. It always gives me a cold

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

18. When a day of surfing changed her:

i just surfed the day away…caught a good old radical wave off the coast of bermuda. tubular right dudes?

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

19. When she loved “randome” facts:

Anyone else follow @OMGFACTS It’s very interesting! I’m loving these randome facts!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

20. When she watched a little too much MTV:

wish I was fist pumping at the jersey shore tonight! LOL

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

21. When she was freed by losing her Blackberry:

I lost my blackberry! No phone, no contacts! Kinda feels freeing! Maybe time to change all my info!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

22. When she was addicted to the roasted almonds they sell on the street:

I’m addicted to the roasted almonds that they sell on the street!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

23. When she was inspired by Vanessa Hudgens:

@VanessaAHudgens I love your background…how did u do it? I wanna copy u!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

24. When she enjoyed unique cuisine in France:

French fries were extra good in France! Tonight’s menu will be spaghetti and meatballs…so Italian!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

25. When Nicole Richie introduced her to almond milk:

I just tried Almond Milk today…thanks @nicolerichie for the health food tip!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

26. When she thought about painting her nails “burgandy”:

Should I paint my nails red or burgandy?

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

27. When she couldn’t keep up with her personal hygiene:

Ew I forgot to wear deodorant to the gym today! LOL

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

28. When she was a Kit-Kat truther:

Kit Kat is my fav candy bar but its tastes different in other countries. Why would they change the filling in between the wafers?

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

29. When a jumbo dream of hers came true:

I was just on the jumbo-tron at the Knicks game!!! I’ve always wanted to be on one! Haha

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

30. When she didn’t know the origins of a pickle:

Wait is a cucumber a pickle??? I did not know this at all! Is @JonathanCheban lying to me?

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

31. When she had meeting-the-wax-figure jitters:

Getting ready to see my wax figure! I’m so nervous! Will it be weird? Will it look identical to me?

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

32. When all she had was “a little sizzuurrrppp”:

@KhloeKardashian I didnt drink! All I had was a little si-zzzuurrrrppp

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

33. When she loved Taylor Swift but not as much as her sisters:

I love @JustinBieber and @TaylorSwift13 ! But I love @KourtneyKardash and @KhloeKardashian even more!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

34. When she had more “tweet friends” than Oprah:

I’m in total shock! I have almost 2.5 mill tweet friends! I LUV U GUYS SO MUCH! Can’t believe I have more than Oprah, Shaq & Diddy! WOW

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

35. When she gloated:

I’m the QUEEN of Scattergories!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

36. When she was annoyed she got pulled over for doing illegal things:

ughhhh just got pulled over for tinted windows & no license plate!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

37. When she opened up about her addictions:

Is it weird that I like ranch dressing with everything? I guess that makes my dinner not as healthy 🙁 its so yummy w an artichoke

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

38. When she tweeted LMFAO lyrics:

Were in Miami Trick!!!!!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

39. When she didn’t know what “SMH” meant and questioned if people really meant “SHM”:

or is it SHM? i see it on blogs all the time! What does it mean?

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

40. When she laughed out loud about her cartoon death:

Did anyone see SouthPark yesterday? Kourtney, Khloe and I got killed! LOL

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

41. When she came for smoke detectors’ chirps:

How annoying is a smoke detector when the battery is low..that non stop chirp! I hope I can sleep!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

42. When she needed a name for her alter-ego:

What should my alter ego name be?

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

43. When her weird mood was unexplainable:

I’m in a weird mood today…. Can’t explain it but ugghhh

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

44. When she ate a small box of Hot Tamales:

I just ate the small Halloween size box of Hot Tamales WHY did I just do that before bed!!!!!!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

45. When she had one White Russian:

The festivities have started!!!! One white russian coming up! Hmmm who can I drunk dial tonight?

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

46. When “the hot part” came for her skin cells:

Owwwww I just picked up the curling iron by the hot part…my fingers are burning and bright red…WHAT DO I DO? I am about to cry!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

47. When Kris was embarassing:

Ok my mom is now talking to strangers in Italian…she doesn’t speak Italian! #embarassing

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

48. When “trill” bugged her:

The word trill really REALLY bugs me! Like who made that up???

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

49. When things just sucked:

Just sucks that there is someone impersonating Kendall which prevents her from using her own twitter name!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

50. When donations brought her back from the dead:

I am back from the dead! Thank you all so much for your donations and contributions! I have missed u all so much!!!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

51. When she was having the perfect Saturday:

I’m making my favorite snack…rice crispie treats! Perfect Saturday!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

52. When she live-tweeted an American Idol taping in 140 characters:

I’m at American Idol taping!Wow they are all so amazing!Danny was classic,but Kris was so risky singing Heartless. Adam is about to start!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

53. When she was looking for her Libras:

Where all my Libra’s at???? Libra’s are the best!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

54. When she had a bad pedicurist:

I’m at the nail salon and the lady doing my nails messed up my toe twice! She keeps touching it when its wet! Stop messing up my toes lady!!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

55. When she witnessed a Sephora proposal:

OMG I’m at Sephora and a guy just proposed to his girlfriend right in front of me! So sweet! I wish them all the best!!!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

56. When life was almost too cruel:

Has anyone ever valeted their car & when u get it back the steering wheel is so dirty & grimey? It’s really gross!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

57. When she revealed her favorite movie genre:

Time Traveler’s Wife was so sad. I cried so hard. I love sad love movies!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

58. When gum snatched her filling:

OMG I was chewing a piece of gum and my filling came out!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

59. When she couldn’t believe the people on I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant didn’t know they were pregnant:

Watching. Discovery Channel “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” It is so hard 2 believe they didn’t know they were pregnant until delivery! Crazy

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

60. When she had internet access on a plane:

I am on a plane right now! Love that I have internet access! So cool!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

61. When she raved about Khloé’s kissing talents:

Who is obsessed with @khloekardashian???? I am!!!!! She is an amazing kisser!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

62. When she showed so much strength:

Was walking towards Cinnabon but didn’t want start the new year with that as my 1st meal.

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

63. When she was living for Kylie and Rob’s strike dances:

i swear Kylie & Rob act just alike! their bowling dances everytime they get a strike are classic!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

64. When she crowd-sourced no carb snacks:

I’m going to start eating better, what are some good no carb snacks?

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

65. When she stanned the Nintendo Wii:

About to shoot Nintendo Wii commercial….wiiiii so fun!!!! Just Dance2!!! Wooowhooo!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

66. When she spelled pisces wrong:

I spelled pisces wrong….

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

67. When she spinned for the first time:

Just tried spinning for the 1st time! My thighs are burning!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

68. When she called out Diddy for @ing her but not following her:

@iamdiddy You aren’t even following me Diddy!!!! Follow me!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

69. When Ashlee Simpson’s words spoke to her:

I love this quote! RT @ashsimpsonwentz: “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending”

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

70. When she had a scary night:

I had nightmares all night long last night! So scary

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

71. When she joined in on some drama from The Hills:

Someone stole @BrodyJenner’s phone, that tweet about Adrina was not him!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

72. When she took the first step in learning a new language:

I’m going to order Rosetta Stone….

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

73. When she was afraid of falling asleep while watching The Hurt Locker:

Watching The Hurt Locker… Hope I don’t fall asleep…I always fall asleep in movies

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

74. When her flight attendant made her laugh:

Our flight attendant is singing the flight instructions! LOL

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

75. When she craved a salad from Carl’s Jr:

I’m craving a Carl’s Jr salad! Heading their now, think they will give me a free one?

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

76. When she needed a damn recorder:

Rob is rapping in the car so loud making up the craziest things! I wish I had a recorder!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

77. When she found out chai lattes are filled with sugar:

Just had the best workout! The trainer just told me Chai Latte’s are filled w sugar…mannnn!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

78. When grandma wouldn’t let her tweet during breakfast:

My grandma won’t let me tweet during breakfast! Gotta go! xo

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

79. When she got deep:

How come Dr’s never get sick when they see sick people every day!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

80. When she tried yoga:

Tried yoga today. Was very relaxing. I was into it! Think I will try it again!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

81. When she stanned James Blunt:

Listening to “You’re Beautiful” by James Blunt…one of my all time favorite songs!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

82. When she tried to get Kourtney a bunch of followers:

I want my sister @KourtneyKardash to get to a million followers! Help a sister out!!!!!!!!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

83. When she teased an awful texting and driving experience but never shared it with us:

I had an awful texting and driving experience, can’t wait to share it with u all one day! Seriously its so unsafe and its so preventable!!!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

84. When she needed your bowling tips:

I went bowling last night & I started off so good w strikes then finished off w gutter balls! I need bowling tips! Got any?

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

85. When she was so hungry:

I’m so hungry

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

86. When she wanted to know your go-to period snack:

Oreos never fail me when I am PMSing and need a fix! Ladies what is your craving of choice during that time of month?

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

87. When she watched the news:

I’ve been watching the news about the rocket crashing into the moon! Did they find water or ice?

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

88. When she had to explain that Kylie and Kendall aren’t twins:

No Kendall is 14 & Kylie is 12 RT @Cookye85 Is your lil sisters twins

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

89. When she preached the truth about teeth health:

I read that If u don’t take care of your teeth then u live 6 years less than expected. Lots of disease lives in your mouth!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

90. When she wished Jesus a happy birthday:

Jesus is the reason for the season! Happy Birthday Jesus, Merry Christmas!!!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

91. When she revealed she loves to beat people:

And now I think I am the worlds greatest Taboo player! LOL I love games love to beat people! I get so competitive

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

92. When she needed an intervention:

I want a mint oreo so badly…Please talk me out of it

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

93. When she remembered a prehistoric dream. LOL:

I think I had a dream about Dinosaur’s last night. LOL

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

94. When Kendall got her braces off and booked a major gig 4 teens:

Kendall just got her braces off! She just got her 1st huge modeling gig! u will never guess who for! Most popluar clothing store 4 teens!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

95. When Jennifer Love Hewitt promised to go running with her:

I just interviewed Jennifer Love Hewitt! She is sooo pretty! She promised to go running w me tomorrow! Love LOVE!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

96. When a woman thought she was 8 months pregnant:

Some woman just came up to me & said congrats 4 being pregnant! I know she thought I was Kourt but rude! Do I look 8 months preggo?

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

97. When she drank Pepsi MAX:

Drinking Pepsi MAX right now! No calories! Best new diet drink! Gives me energy when I’m traveling!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

98. When Black Friday was trash:

i dont know bout where u guys livebut out here Black Friday sucked! None of the good stuff was on sale!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

99. When she loved quotes:

I love quotes

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

100. When she tried to make Khloé and Mario Lopez a couple:

Wouldn’t Kourtney and Mario Lopez be a hot couple!!!

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

101. And whatever this is:

don’t you think @khloekardashian is the softest tongue… When she licks my back I get goose bumps all over… Want a twit pic?

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian)

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